Thursday, November 12, 2020

My Sister, DeeDee

 

                           Most often I don't write about personal stories, but this is a story to share.

The above picture was taken last December. It is having tea with my half-sister, Dee Dee, as a celebration for Christmas. Each year we would get together sometime in December to celebrate Christmas, in March to celebrate our birthdays, and maybe a picnic in the summer. It was most often just the two of us, a sister bonding time.

Tuesday of this week my sister passed away from pancreatic cancer. She was just diagnosed about a month ago and I wasn't ready to let her go. I am missing her.

Now our sisterly bond didn't start until I was 50 years old and she was 14 years younger, though I knew she existed long before that. I knew she had two brothers too, but I didn't know where they were. I was pretty sure they didn't know they had two older sisters. Our father left my mother when she was pregnant with my sister and I was 2 years old, then later married again. He kept his whereabouts a secret and only popped up about 4 times for 1 hour visits. He didn't support my mother financially, so we struggled. During that era divorces just weren't common. People would feel sorry for us. My mother loved us and raised us the best she could with the help of other family members. I didn't feel particularly cheated. I knew I was loved. 

Through unusual circumstances which were not at all planned we found each other. Her brothers and DeeDee didn't know their father had been married before. One of the first things DeeDee said was "I always wanted a big sister and now I have two". She was thrilled. I was thrilled to finally connect with my siblings and develop a friendship. DeeDee lived only an hour drive from me, so we loved our times of getting together. We listened and shared stories of growing up and life now. Hearing the stories I knew that my sister and I were the lucky ones to have not grown up with our father. He wasn't a particularly good man. I will leave it at that, but I am thankful daily that I didn't have him in my life, but I found DeeDee and could be there for her.

Yes, I will miss that sisterly bond and time shared together with the sister I didn't know until I was 50.

All I can say now to you, if you have signs of ill health SEE YOUR DOCTOR.

It is better than finding out when it is too late to get help. 

Take care, dear friends! Have an extra special weekend!

12 comments:

Deanna said...

I am so very sorry for your loss. So sorry. This is a very sweet post that you have written and shared. You made some good memories.
d

Jeanne said...

I am very sorry for your loss.
Please accept my love and prayers.
Jeanne

mamasmercantile said...

Sincere condolences, you are in my prayers. Blessings.

Lorrie said...

I am very sorry for your loss, Marilyn. To have found your sister and then lose her so soon is very hard. Praying for comfort and peace.

Ginger said...

I’m sorry for your loss. Prayers.

Linda P said...

I'm so sorry Marilyn. Thank you for sharing about your family circumstances and the precious times you had with your dear sister. Continuing to remember you in prayer.

Thelma said...

I'm sorry for your loss. My sympathy to you for the loss of your sister. God bless!
Thelma.

Jeanie said...

Oh Marilyn, what a touching story. I'm so sorry -- that's very fast, too fast, for one to be able to process and prepare to grieve. I'm glad you were able to forge a lovely and beautiful relationship in those years and I know you will hold that close to your heart.

Laura said...

I'm so very sorry for your loss.

~*~

Red Rose Alley said...

I am deeply sorry to hear that your beloved Sister passed away, Marilyn. I am thinking about you tonight, and sending comfort and love during this time of sorrow.

~Sheri

Tracy said...

Oh, Marilyn... just now seeing this, and how sad and sorry I am! That was fast... I can imagine you are feeling very mixed feeling right now, especially feeling cheated on time with your sister and the love you shared. That love is still there... So glad you were able to have precious time with her while you could. Thinking of you very much as you go through this deep time of healing!((LOVE & HUGS))

Mary said...

Such a sad story Marilyn. I recall you mentioning Dee Dee and a little of the backstory of your family. Finding each other was wonderful and at least you were able to spend some fabulous times together during the later years.
Dee Dee's very sudden death must be heartbreaking for you. Pancreatic cancer can be quick - my father died just a couple of months after diagnosis.
My thoughts are with you and prayers are offered for this difficult time.
Hugs too - Mary