Women Holding Things

On social media I have followed @MessyNessy in Paris for quite awhile. Several months ago she showed pictures of women holding things and ever since then I have thought about what women hold. Women hold: a child, a job, emotions, the home, the family, food prep, bills, structure of the home and sometimes it is hard to let go.

 Here is my mother holding me.

 I grew up and she had to let me be me by letting me fly and find my own wings.

Hands are unbearably beautiful.

They hold on to things.

They let things go.

~Mary Reufle 

https://mairakalman.com/womenholdingthingsbook 

 Could you see how gently my mother's hand held me on her knee?

And my daughter holding her son (my grandson).

 I see as he gets older there will be a time to also let him fly. Yes, I had to do it for my own little ones.

And here is me holding my teacup, a time now for meditation and self care. Being surrounded in nature touches my soul. And I hold each day in my heart and cherish those moments of both holding on to life's joys and sorrows and then releasing them to fly away.

 

 

A personal story. When I was in junior high school my gym teacher taught the girl's to hold there breathe and suck in their tummies to make them flatter. I realized all these years later that sometimes holding ones breathe is not really good for me or anyone else. I am learning to release my breathe and in that hold joy right in my belly, even if that means I don't have the flattest tummy in the world. Why do we teach girls to hold their feelings in, not breathe, and not release what is good into the world? I hope this makes sense, it's something I am still learning.

 

Let's hold on to what is good and release the stale air, laugh and find joy each day in the little things. What are you holding on to today? Does it bring you JOY? 

 

Sending love,

Marilyn 

Focus on the Stars

 

“In the midst of darkness, light persists.”

– Mahatma Gandhi, Speech (1947)

I love that this stream under the trees still captures the light through the dark forest.

It seems that having chosen the theme this year has kept me focusing on the same rays of light. On Instagram I find myself saying "In darkness, focus on hope". I say it in so many little ways each day. Then I notice that others are also saying the same thing in their own ways. And in this I am noticing little rays of sunshine, laughter and hope. I know I needed this focus to get me through this year.

This picture was a couple years ago, but you might smile at seeing it. It's funny, but dressing this way to go to tea was hard for me to do. I tend to step quietly, not to be noticed. So wearing a fur coat and sunglasses was out of my comfort zone. But I was glad I did it. It was good for me to be bold. It created a memory of laughing at myself, a little silliness does the soul good. A little light in my day.

 Last Saturday I ventured out to the April 5th "Push Back" demonstration. I went with trepidation and concern for safety, but I went anyway. Parking was found close by and I soon found myself standing on a highway overpass with my sign that says "Liar, liar, pants on fire!" Soon enough cars drove by and I was thoroughly brought to tears at the positive response. There were thumbs up and happy tooting horns. So many responded in a special way to the more than a 1000 people that showed up not far from my home to speak out. My heart swelled with joy to feel validated and for speaking up. We must step out of our comfort zone as often as possible. It creates memories, it makes us stronger, and brings surprises to our world. It is HOPE.

What glimmers of hope have you seen this week? Where are you stepping out of your comfort zone?

Sending love,

Marilyn

 

Words of Kindness and Joy

OK, I wrote this in August and realized I hadn't posted it. As tomorrow is election day I hope and pray a woman will soon be in charge.

Now you might say, "what does that have to do with Kindness and JOY?" I believe Kamala brings to the table just that "kindness and joy"! 

 

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FciQeRGYFlw&ab_channel=Keb%27Mo%27

Put a Woman in charge! 

I hope you listen to the above link, it inspires me.

I believe, as women, our time is coming.

Women have the power to add tenderness and beauty around them. To take something ugly and make it something special. To heal our "booboo's". To cry with us, laugh with us. Yes, you might say a man can do these things too, but I believe a woman adds the gentleness so lacking in the world of men.

I am excited for the possibilities a woman adds to our world. Now normally I am not political here, but our time has come in the US to have a woman in charge. Please vote BLUE 

Sending you love, kindness and JOY in this time of struggle and upheaval.

Peace to you,

Marilyn

A Gift for You - A Flower and A Poem

 

 Flower in my garden this morning after a soft night time rain.

 Not exactly a poem today, but something to think on. This came to me just yesterday as I sat in church. Interestingly the message was on grief and this is what I began thinking about. Sometimes as we get older we might feel unseen, some grief and a bit "shabby"; but as the quote says it does take a long time to become "Real". I feel like each day I become more "Real".

“It doesn’t happen all at once,” said the Skin Horse. “You become. It takes a long time. That’s why it doesn’t happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don’t matter at all, because once you are Real you can’t be ugly, except to people who don’t understand.”  from the Velveteen Rabbit

Here I am with this flower in the garden.

My shirt says "Here's to strong women, may we know them, may we be them, may we raise them."

As a strong woman, may we accept our flaws, our imperfections, and become more "Real" each and every day.
 

Writing Challenge

 After reading what I have written, does this lady staring out at the world fit with the story? Is she bold to assume we can accept and love her just for who she it?

The Pedestrian Woman by Robin Morgan

She stands at the intersection, waiting

to stride across in the inimitable way of hers,

shoulder bag banging against one hip, head high,

her hair promiscuous to the wind.

Or sits at the typewriter, inconspicuous

as any other woman,

writing messages to the universe

which will get her in trouble with the boss.

No past, no future, flickers like a clue

in all those chance encounters

that accumulate a life.

See her ride the subway. See her

warm the leftovers for her supper.

See her feed her dog.

And can you see what vision

fires its shape in her sleep's kiln,

what passion, irony, and wit,

what love, what courage

are disguised

in all her daily movements? 

Thanks, Stephanie for this poem shared recently.

This poem was my inspiration in a recent writing class to play with the line "her hair promiscuous to the wind", particularly intrigued with that word "promiscuous" and wondering if the word needed to be a negative word or maybe something playful. This was what I wrote after sipping a particular tea that teased and enticed me. Enjoy!

 The image of the wind blowing through my hair as I walk through a field of yellow mustard, outdoors, stumbling at times, but ever bold. My head is held high and the feeling of being alone though surrounded by others around me. I don't notice them for I am in another world. A song touches my tongue and I sing out boldly, wrapping my tongue around each word and embracing them. I sing for the losses of a life once dreamed of. I sing for the world that hurts. I sing a song that laments, but yet searches for the nuances that delight my soul. I grab each moment while I continue the way forward. I toss my hair and my head in the wind and I smile (or is it really a smirk?) For I know what is surrounding me and even more what is a part of me.

If only as a young girl I was taught to fling my head and hair in the wind and walk boldly through the muck. Would I have become someone I don't know today?

There is a boldness that causes my tongue to wrap around words yet unsaid. It is a bit promiscuous as it calls me to ponder, it sits in my mouth. It wants me to embrace it and take it in, but I am tentative in my acceptance. It teases me with it's scent. Do I love it? It asks for me to do so. Yet my own boldness pauses. Let me go to places yet unknown, be a bit promiscuous, let the tea embrace me and gather me in it's arms.

BTW - It was a green tea I was sipping. 

The picture was taken on a recent visit to my favorite antique mall.

Happy weekend, dear friends!

Delight in each day and let your imagination fly free. 

Word for the Week

 Yesterday I attended on zoom a forum discussion Celebrating Wisdom of Women. I wasn't quite sure where that discussion would go, but following along with a group of younger women of color intrigued me enough to want to listen and learn. 

Could it open new doors for me, reach out and grab me, or teach me something new?

Where the discussion ended up going was finding our "a-ha" moments or our passion. Passion and a-ha moments go together. They talked about what brings them alive, how they find who they are, and how they choose to spend their time. For these women music seemed to be a component that brought passion to them. They didn't want to be identified by what their careers were, but by what their passions were (their a-ha moments) and by what brought them to their place of home.

That word "a-ha" just stuck with me and I had to think back through my life to remember those moments when I knew and said in my heart a big "a-ha". So the word today is "a-ha". 

Is it a word in the dictionary?  Yep!

exclamation

exclamation: a-ha 

used to express satisfaction, triumph, or surprise.

Definitions from Oxford Languages

 

A place in time, sipping tea in France.

 

One of my stories of an a-ha moment was when I decided to move from one career to another. I had a little push from a boss I had at the time, which then encouraged me to make a list of those things I loved in life. In journal writing and self reflection I realized tea had always been entwined throughout my life, but I had never thought of it other then having a quick cup in the morning. That a-ha moment came when I realized it could be so much more. Once I realized that, it has become one of my passions and ties so much together. It encourages me to learn more, it connects me with people, and it has given me adventures I would have never imagined. Even the forum I watched on Sunday wouldn't have happened for me if it wasn't for my connection to tea.

 

Just a side note and one I knew, but still touched my heart once again. In watching and listening to these wise young women brought home to me that we are all the same. It doesn't matter the color of our skin, who raised us, what circumstance we live in - we are all the same. For that I am thankful to have been surrounded by these beautiful, strong, wise women for this moment in time.

Can you remember a a-ha moment in your life?

Did it make a difference in the direction you went?

March 8th International Women's Day

These words are for this week.

HAPPY INTERNATIONAL WOMEN'S DAY!

 "Here's to strong women. 

May we know them.

May we be them.

May we raise them."

~Anonymous (found in Tea Time Magazine) 

Purple is the color that represents justice and dignity,

it is recognized as the international symbol for women.

"Always be a first-rate version of yourself instead of a second-rate version of somebody else."       

    ~Judy Garland  (thanks Steph for this quote) 

 

A few days ago online I listened to a live chat honoring International Women's Month. What came from that conversation was:

Feminine is internal side of "yin" to the male "yang"

When there are more women involved in politics a country is less likely to go to war.

Kindness is the center of humanity.

Sharing our stories and love we become who we are in the fullest.

The final words were that the world needs more softness, more of the feminine side, less aggression, more kindness.

Part of my story. This picture was taken when I was about 10 years old at my uncles apple ranch. There was also my younger sister and three cousins that I had never met before. I am sorting old pictures right now and just loved this remembrance.

Celebrate who you are and definitely share your kindness and softness! 

Here I am with a cup of tea in hand, meditating on life.

This is not in my home, but a chocolate shop that has now closed here in Portland.

Have a good day, dear friends!

Women of Tea

Farmer Chen's wife from Pinglin, Taiwan served us tea in their shop.

Then she went to the tea field and demonstrated a tea picking hedge trimmer.

Farmer Chen told us she always stays awake and by his side when he is producing

the tea during the night so he won't fall asleep on the job.

Most often it is the women that pick the tea.

This particular morning they arrived to pick at 8AM.

They picked until mid day then took their tea in to be weighed at the production center.

This was a cooperative family farm on Alishan Mountain.

It was lovely to listen to them chatter as they worked with an occasional song.

Women are such a part of making our tea extra special

and doing whatever is necessary to get the job done.

Again another farmer's wife helped in the tearoom serving us tea.

On her back was her grand daughter.

Later she cooked for us.

Then visiting a tea school in Taiwan we learned the proper way to pick.

What fascinates me is that the men often get the recognition,

but it is the women that pick the tea, feed the people, care for the babies,

serve tea to the guests and generally hold things together.

In India I have learned through reading that the owners of tea plantations

give the money to the women to manage because they do the care taking

and don't go out to drink after work.

One farmer in India now has his daughter producing the tea because that is

where her heart and talent are.  The son works in the office, but the daughter

is hands on for creating beautiful teas.

Many women are now becoming entrepreneurs, creating their own businesses,

and running their own farms. One of my tea friends is an attorney in New York,

but also owns and produces tea in Nepal and has a partnership with someone there.

She travels back and forth between the US and Nepal, keeping an apartment in both places.

She produces a delicious white tea.

There is also a woman here in Oregon that is the president of the

U.S. Tea Growers Association and also grows her own tea right here in the states.

She has some very nice teas.

Women are also taking leadership rolls in tea education,

many of them I call "friends".

I love seeing the blossoming of women in the world of tea.

So if you sip a cup of tea send love to all those women and men too

that make that cup possible.

Happy weekend, dear friends!

I hope you have some moments to sip a cup of tea.

https://www.filmsforaction.org/watch/today-i-rise/

I am sure I have shared this poem before, but some days it just has to be shared again.

In the video there is the girl with the broken wing attempting to fly,

there is the woman walking to the podium,

and the mother comforting her child.

I am all of those things and so much more.

You are all of those things and so much more.

We must be willing to embrace our power

and hold it our precious hearts and hands.

Still I Rise

Maya Angelou - 1928-2014

You may write me down in history
With your bitter, twisted lies,
You may trod me in the very dirt
But still, like dust, I’ll rise.
Does my sassiness upset you?
Why are you beset with gloom?
’Cause I walk like I’ve got oil wells
Pumping in my living room.
Just like moons and like suns,
With the certainty of tides,
Just like hopes springing high,
Still I’ll rise.
Did you want to see me broken?
Bowed head and lowered eyes?
Shoulders falling down like teardrops,
Weakened by my soulful cries?
Does my haughtiness offend you?
Don’t you take it awful hard
’Cause I laugh like I’ve got gold mines
Diggin’ in my own backyard.
You may shoot me with your words,
You may cut me with your eyes,
You may kill me with your hatefulness,
But still, like air, I’ll rise.
Does my sexiness upset you?
Does it come as a surprise
That I dance like I’ve got diamonds
At the meeting of my thighs?
Out of the huts of history’s shame
I rise
Up from a past that’s rooted in pain
I rise
I’m a black ocean, leaping and wide,
Welling and swelling I bear in the tide.
Leaving behind nights of terror and fear
I rise
Into a daybreak that’s wondrously clear
I rise
Bringing the gifts that my ancestors gave,
I am the dream and the hope of the slave.
I rise
I rise
 I rise.

 Happy weekend, dear friends!

Gypsy Woman

 Pictures taken in the past, but fun to remember.

There is something seductive to me in listening to Gypsy Woman
and thinking of the sway of her hips
and the flick of her head as she dances.
There is a bit of soul in those thoughts
wondering how would that feel to just let loose and dance.

Listen to gypsy woman https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TiozPXDHnYc
Let your imagination flow.

I started this post quite awhile ago and it just smoldered in the back of my mind.

There is something so earthy in my inner self when I see that word "gypsy".

Gypsy reminds me of a free spirit, someone that lives outside the box

who walks with a sway and has no qualms about wearing her heart in the way

she flows with mismatched clothes and dances  when the spring time tiptoes

into the light. She walks barefoot through the forest floor that softly gives

the fragrance of pine needles and moss.

Sometimes she breaks the rules and sometimes she flirts with the old gentlemen

sitting on the bench. Her hair is laced with flowers and ferns. She fancies the

playfulness of a child dancing and singing whether there is anyone to listen or not.

What would you wear as your alter gypsy self?
Would there be a sway to your hips
and toe tapping out the music played?

I think she would be a strong woman, a woman that knows herself,
and listens to her own drummer.
Have fun today just imagining!
I know I did just thinking on this post.

I am

I am:

a photographer
a writer of dreams and whimsy

a mom

a wife

a sister

a tea lover

a cat lover

a nature lover 
a flower lover 
a tea lover

an artist

a light spirit

a gyspy

a fairy

a strong woman
a speaker of truth

When I started this list a couple months ago
it really hit me with such power in thinking these things of myself.
Have you acknowledged who you are?
Just making the list will give you power in your soul.

I challenge each of you to do so and if you share on your blog,
let me know.
Writing them down, even just for yourself is a good thing.
I can review it in my mind now
and know I am all those things and more.
It has given me confidence in myself.

Women in Tea

The more I read and hear of women’s suppression the more I think of all the beautiful women that do their part to bring us a good cup of tea. Many warm thoughts have been sent there way in this “me too” era of transparency. Wondering why it is that the women are sent to the field to pick the tea or to make the tea for a tasting, but not held in regard to take on the role of the farmer or processing the tea. When I traveled to Taiwan in 2011 our small group visited several tea farms where it was the farmer that received the recognition, but the wife was making the food, serving the tea, and making sure everything went as it needed to be. Farmer Chen’s wife, we were told, stays up at night when the tea is being processed just to make sure her husband doesn’t fall asleep. The grandmother, at a farm in the Alishan Mountains, would cook the meals and carry the grandbaby on her back as she made tea for us while the son-in-law and husband were off doing the men’s work. Yet when I stepped out into the tea field and watched the women picking the tea, it was serene and the sound of the voices was like music to my ears.

Women arriving for a day of plucking the tea in Taiwan.

I have been told the women pluck and pick because of the dexterity of their fingers; but I think those same beautiful women could certainly plant and process the tea and run their own businesses. Recently a farmer, Rajen Baruah, in Assam, India shared a picture on Facebook of a small group of women he is beginning to train to be their own independent farmers.  I am thrilled to see this happening even if it is only one small step. Dreaming of a world where women all around the world can work equally with the men of tea.  Together we will all thrive.

Farmer Chen and his wife showing how to cut the tea in the field.

Grandma serving the tea in Alishan, Taiwan

In many places around the world I have found beautiful women making our tea world a better place.  They have been educating us, supporting small farmers, serving us tea, and plucking the tea that we drink. Jane Pettigrew’s Design for Tea is educating us. Elyse Peterson at tealet.com supports small farmers throughout the world promoting their tea.  Jeni Dodd is promoting tea from Nepal.  Babette Donaldson has written the Emma Lea books for children and recently shared videos on Sip for Peace of stories of tea around the world. Shuiwen at Floating Leaves came from Taiwan to start a tea shop in Seattle and buys from small farmers in Taiwan. Lindsey Goodwin of The Tea Mavens is supporting and educating. There are many women who put their creative tea dreams into reality by opening tearooms and teashops, women that share their tea knowledge on a blog such as this one, or women that work as support staff in tea businesses around the world. Women in tea is growing and shining.

Diana serving the tea at Babington Tearoom in Rome, Italy.

To the women who share tea with us, 

that pluck the tea and serve the tea,

 I thank you!

I hope your International Women's Day yesterday was a very special day.

Have a great weekend, dear friends!

Keep on sipping tea!

I am a Photographer, A Bit Long

Last night I dreamt that I was starting college

and settling into my dorm room.

It was similar to what I did experience

at a small "Christian" college.

As I was settling in my roommate wanted me to

meet some guy from her church.

He came into the room and said he and my roommate

had been praying for me.

He wanted to know what I was going to study,

was it secretarial, a teacher, or to be a minister's wife?

My answer was "I am a photographer 

pursuing all things creative.

This didn't fit into his image of what a woman

should be and he turned and left.

The night before this dream I began reading

a book by Sue Monk Kidd, The Dance of the Dissident Daughter.

A quote from that book, "Stories give us hope, a little guidance,

and a lot of bravery."

My word for this year is "Story"

and this is part of my story.

The dream was very true to what I was as a young woman,

but I wasn't brave enough to say

"I am a photographer pursuing all things creative."

It has taken me a long time to be able to say that statement

and it came out in my dream.

Life is continually growing and learning

and for that I am thankful.

I am sure as I travel through this book there will be more growing

and more stories to share.

What do you still hunger for?

How do you continue to grow?